OCT 10 update 5pm- Day 9 of recovery..
I have a case of the mondays.. but not the normal tired mondays.. like Iām exhausted mondays!
We skipped coop- mostly because my heart canāt handle the newness of new friends right now and I knew John wouldnāt be able to take them since he had a couple friends coming to help with floors.
So we went to our neighborhood Library.. where we are seen and known and life can feel ānormalā for a few hours.
This is kindness to myself and my kids.
Sure they were sad about missing coop, but they love the library and love Ms. Carly even more!
Hereās a glimpse into today.. I woke up and I threw on a shirt my friend brought me. Itās NOT a shirt Iād normally wear, but I kinda feel like I donāt care at this point if it covers my body it is worn! Ha.
At breakfast, my one daughter told me she didnāt like my shirt, it just wasnāt me.. she wasnāt wrong.. but Iām also embracing new things..
What I really heard underneath that comment was her sweet little heart of.. mom⦠so much is changing, please donāt go crazy and change.. Instead of being annoyed that she commented on my shirt that I thought was fine.. I decided to read deeper and meet her.. Her little heart needed reassurance and I also needed to remember it wasnāt about my shirt at all..
This was kindness to my daughter .. I could have just dismissed her comments and not said anything other than āwell I like it today.ā (And I really donāt always get it right.. trust me.. but these moments of getting it ārightā are beautiful). I love my little truth speaker and I also love that sheās got the sweetest most sensitive heart!
A few updates:
– We got an email saying our van was totaled and we are currently waiting on numbers and holding our breath⦠car shopping is overwhelming! IF you know a good used car dealer please please let me know.. I donāt think I have capacity to try to find one for sale by owner.. too many things to think about and at the least with a dealer thereās a warranty that can give me peace of mind for this season of rebuilding!
-I finally got a call from our flood insurance adjuster. Somehow when he read me our coverage, it sunk in differently. Yes I know flood doesnāt cover contents, living expense, food, or even a washer/dryer⦠Sure I know thereās a deductible.. but when you say it out loud it sounds awful! Haha .. I right away think about all the neighbors hearing the same things, except this house was their retirement house!
This is kinda how monday is going.
And yet.. my neighbors are slowly starting to listen and realize that before adjusters come out they need to cut some drywall and remove floors.. I literally cheered for the big FEMA garbage trucks .. and the guys were grateful.. at least they smiled when my kids and I drove by waving! And then it hit me.. without the visual junk mess, will anyone else remember the trauma we have all been through?
Iād love prayer for us to be able to dream. I donāt just want to slap our house together and call it a day. Iād love to be intentional about what we choose.
Change is good, but just like my shirt situation today.. I want to walk into my house (and for others to also) and immediately think.. āthis is totally you guys!ā
Honestly, this is a new uncomfortable place for me. Iāve not designed a house, floors or cabinets I just feel overwhelmed.. I donāt know how Iāll dream inside the mess, but I know I want to!
Ā Ellen